In this article I’m going to give you 10 very simple things that you can do right now to start boosting your emotional resilience. Don’t really know what emotional resilience is? No problem, I didn’t know what it was a year ago and now I’m writing about it. I will tell you everything I think you need to know right…about…now…
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Emotional Resilience in a Nutshell
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Remember the last time you were faced with an emotional challenge that made you want to curl up in the foetal position and cry like a baby? Well, emotional resilience will help you cope with exactly those kinds of situations.
In fact, having a range of emotional resilience strategies in your toolbox, means that you can not only survive adversity, but thrive and flourish like a beautiful flower that grows out of a bag of turds.
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10 simple things you can do right now to boost your emotional resilience
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Shut Up and Meditate
Mindfulness meditation brings you more in touch with your negative emotions, more in control of your thoughts. In essence this meditation allows you to step away from your emotions and take on the role of observer; if you see your fear, panic, or anxiety for what it is (just an emotion) you will automatically become more resilient.
Do this Now: Meditate.
If your new to mindfulness meditation, here are some things that I recommend to get you started:
This book, Fear Less by Dean Sluyter, provides a simple no-nonsense introduction to meditation
And here is a meditation for beginners video by Russell Brand
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Face the Invisible Tigers
The invisible tigers are something that my councillor and I came up with to represent the shit that I was afraid of. Let me explain; your brain is wired to protect you from danger, the only problem is it doesn’t know the difference between real danger (actual tigers) and perceived danger (invisible tigers).
When you repeatedly face your fear, what you were afraid of becomes normal, your brain doesn’t recognise it as a threat any more. The more you do this the more resilient to all stressful and anxiety inducing situations you will become.
Do this Now: Pick something that makes you shit your knickers (panties for my American friends) and do it, do it NOW. Quit your job, call the doctor for those test results, ask your boss for a raise…whatever it is, do it now.
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Free Hugs
Physical contact releases oxytocin (one of your body’s happy hormones) into your bloodstream. Oxytocin does a lot of cool stuff including encouraging social bonding and has a calming effect on the body, helping you to face difficult situations, and therefore become more emotionally resilient.
Do this Now: Go and find someone, anyone, and give them a 20 second full body bear hug, I’m talking maximum physical contact.
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Reach Out
If there’s nobody around to sweep up in your arms, just spending time with people and having positive social experiences can have the same effect. Yes having a strong social network makes you more emotionally resilient too.
Do this Now: Find someone nearby and have a conversation with them, if there’s no one around, get out your phone and tell someone on What’sApp how important they are to you.
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Laugh at Yourself
Laughter is such a powerful tool for healing, some of my happiest memories are of enjoying a laugh with my friends and family. If I’m feeling shitty, a cheesy comedy, or a bit of stand up will lift my spirits in no time. Even better is when you can laugh at yourself, self-pity is not empowering, self-deprecation can be.
Do this Now: Figure out what tickles your funny bone and get more of it. If you want to step it up; check out this Wiki How post on how to learn to laugh at your mistakes.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard
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Be grateful
Gratitude is a way to activate your brain’s happy chemicals. Instead of focussing on what’s going wrong in your life, think about whats working for you. Hey, you’re here, reading this on smartphone or a laptop, how lucky you are to have access to such awesome technology. Having a grateful outlook is proven to make you more resilient in the face of stress.
Do this Now: Take out a pen and paper and make a list of at least 3 things that you are grateful for. This could be people, possessions, situations, education, the possibilities are endless.
Make gratitude a part of your daily routine. This book, the 6-minute diary, really helped me in establishing a gratitude practice
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Move It
If your facing a difficult decision, uncomfortable emotions or just feeling down in the dumps, moving your body can make a massive difference by shifting your emotional state.
Do this Now: Go for a run, walk, bike ride, or do some yoga. Or better yet; put on some lively music and dance your arse off for 10 minutes.
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Look at Your Shit
Just like fear, you need to face all your difficult, uncomfortable emotions to become more emotionally resilient. Again, mindfulness meditation comes to the rescue by helping you to get comfortable sitting with your negative emotions; feeling them and observing them, instead of reacting to them.
Do this now: Watch this video of some monk dude talking about the power of awareness for dealing with difficult emotions. It’s only 4:21 minutes and it’s awesome.
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If you want to make peace with your dark side, check out this post ‘Connect with your Dark Side‘ where I share a strategy for doing just that.
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Set Yourself a Goal
Crisis situations naturally invoke panic, which leads to fear and overwhelm. When you’re overwhelmed you’re not thinking clearly. It’s difficult to even imagine what the other side of this clearly insurmountable problem-mountain looks like.
In this case, setting a goal with realistic, clearly defined steps can put the problem into context and make the whole thing much more manageable.
Do this Now: Whatever challenge you are facing right now, take a step back to look at what it is exactly that you are facing, brainstorm some possible solutions, and break them down into manageable action steps.
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Learn Something
Truly resilient people are usually lifelong learners. Constantly growing your mind and learning new skills helps you adapt to challenges that you are faced with. It encourages mental flexibility in terms of your problem solving ability.
Do this Now: What is something you’ve always wanted to learn? An instrument, a foreign language? Head over to www.udemy.com, or look for some instructional videos on youtube.
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This article looked at some small things you can do right now. Everyone can learn to become more resilient but true emotional resilience takes time to build. Don’t get discouraged or overwhelmed if you still have a hard time coping with whatever’s going on in your life. Implement these things into your life and you will be on the right path.
Please reach out and let me know your experiences of emotional resilience. If you have any other tips that you’d like to share I’d love to hear them.
